How to tick off an an Aussie!

This is a Big Black Cock

Well let me firstly just say that to those of you who were offended at my last blog post...."Tough Love!! It was your choice to be offended and get your knickers in a knot, so emailing Jen and complaining about it...or griping to other people.....POINTLESS....errr she didn't write it I did....it clearly had my name at the very top for all to see....it said....(This is DARRAN!!!).

It was mentioned that maybe I should apologise! Okay...I'm sorry for uptight humourless people who can't have a laugh and CHOSE to be offended. Now come on people.....if anyone of you have NEVER EVER once laughed at anything a little blue or risque then you may have a right to complain...but I'm really not interested in hearing about complaints and to that I would also say "Get a Life! Even the most stout Mormons I know can still enjoy a good bawdy laugh!!!!

I'm sorry for those who have not taken the time to get to know me and my greatest quality, my sense of humour. (Okay, it might be a little hard to get to know someone on the other side of the world. Which is why Barack Obama invented email!)

And I'm sorry for those who live such perfectly boring lives that they feel they can sit in judgement on everyone else.

Jen and I share a wonderful loving life together in which humour and laughter is a major part of it. We laugh everyday, sometimes even more, sometimes we even laugh at ourselves....or even laugh at ourselves laughing at ourselves! I once laughed at a cupcake.....but that was before I was a Mormon and I had been up to no good.

To really know me is to "almost" understand me. To know what I have come through to get to this point in my LDS life and have a testimony as strong as what I have is indeed a miracle in itself. I never judge others and I won't tolerate people judging me unless they've walked a mile in my shoes, which would pose a problem because even though you would be miles away from me, you will have my shoes.....and I have special orthotics in them, so I'd appreciate it if and when you do that you can post them back to me please.

But while my testimony is stronger than anyone I know, I will not ever, change who I am as a person to satisfy the Molly Mormons and Peter Preisthoods both here and over there.

Therefore I say to those who cackled louder than our chooks about my last blog.....

DEAL WITH IT.......GET OVER IT.......and as we say in Australia.....LIGHTEN UP!

An Aussie once said that to Michael Jackson and he took it literally.

If you don't like it, don't read it......ahaaa catch 22, coz if you don't read it then how will you know if you don't like it! It's like eating that last enchilada, or hogging down 3 tubs of Ben and Jerry's....or watching Daytime soaps.....you REALLY don't want to, but you just HAVE to. Face it, it's human nature!

Big Kudos to Jen for fitting in incredibly well to the Australian way of life...as an American..."she totally gets us Aussies"! (So do you Nat, and all the Whitakers!!) Which is kind of a good thing as she has to live here...at least until February!!!!! But let me say don't ever come to Australia if you can't take a joke or don't enjoy laughing until your guts fall out.....(we even have special hospitals that cater to that type of medical emergency)

So anyway................

For those of you who missed out on my satirical masterpiece from yesteryore............I really couldn't be bothered rewriting it verbatim.....

Rather I will just say that CHOOKS DO NEED GOOD LOVING.....Therefore we got a little something to scramble their eggs.

We now have a big black and Red cock!! I have named him Big Black Cock...or BBC for short.

yadda yadda yadda.....a lustreous sheen the likes not seen since Telly Savalas buffed his head with a hand buffer. I was also worried about the chooks wanting to go and live on the Island of Lesbos, (which is near Greece I believe, and my good friend Peter Griffin assures me is inhabited only by females).

So for all of you who DO enjoy a good laugh.....here is another picture of our Big Black and Red Cock!............(We have no plans to eat him..............yet)

PS: If you're still offended or re offended or just 'need' to be offended at something, don't bother complaining to us (especially me as I could care less)....maybe write to Barack......he'll fix everthing..........Rock on!!!